I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
