the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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