ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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