You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
