covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
