he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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