she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
