so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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