Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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