Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
