You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
