Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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