whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need to calm my uterus...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
