Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
