I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
