You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
