This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
