I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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