Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize