Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
