Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Green mimosas i think yes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
