Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize