im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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