But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Randomize
