Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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