you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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