It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
