and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
