your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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