you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
