There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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