I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
