I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize