so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
