how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
