we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Those nachos came to me in a dream
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
