You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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