Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
