Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
