I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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