Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
