I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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