So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
