theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
