So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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