The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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