I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
