He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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