So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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