having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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