Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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