i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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