kristin has been a bad kristin
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
