"it" just moved
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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