whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
