You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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