at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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