If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
