if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
