you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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