Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize